Julia.

I won't feed the cat, I'm tired. Very tired, leave me be.

It is not my fault, if I could change how you feel, I have tried, and you're everything to me. So I don the black (it is not mandatory), and I will be a part of your hymns, and the procession, and I will fight the crowd to squeeze your hand, and I'll give you my songs, and I will let it wash over me when you kiss her brow, when you don't let go of her, when the start to pull you away, because it borders on everybody's comfort zone, when I would have said, have it your way, when I would have laughed, because this is yours to call, they should not dictate this.

Leave me be, I cannot indulge in petty pleasures, they sag me, they bring me down oh-so-terribly.

There is time, only so much time, so please, please let me make use of it. She won't be okay, she can't be okay. And Julia didn't look like she was sleeping, and I did not have to fight the urge to break into mirthless laughter.

'...a hole which nothing can fill,' she said.

Too much has changed, I cannot, I have not yet grown accustomed to, and when I dream, it only clutters everything further. (believe it or not) I miss the empty space in my head I threw away. And these chronicles, they only make you play against it, and your slow chiding won't win me over, nor if you force it down my throat. I'm mellow, melancholy, and I try to cope, and I can only imagine what she will try to do.

Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you, Julia.

Julia, Julia, oceanchild, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia
Julia, seashell eyes, windy smile, calls me
So I sing a song of love, Julia.

Her hair of floating sky is shimmering, glimmering
In the sun.

Julia, Julia, morning moon, touch me
So I sing a song of love, Julia.

Vanish

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Super. Call. Dial. Doll. Sure. Car. Fragile. Sex. Sad. Cat. Dog. List. Us. So. Supper. Life. Paid. Girl. Sat. Sit. Race. Rage. Fat. Far. Lice. Louse. Ill. Do. Does. Lift. Lip. Let. Collide. Lid. Lead. Read. Red. Expert. All. At. Paper. Exact. Rape. Rat. Sold. Sell. Lit. guilt. Cap. Cape. Rascal. Cage. Page. Pad. Seed. Up. Safe. Strode. Rag. Rig. Rose. Roast. Road. Radar. Is. Too. To. Rut. Put puss. Logistic. logistical. role. roll. Rolled. Store. Rot. Log. Led. Fare. Fair. Air. Are. Rare. See. Age. Grill. Rue. If. Old. Pup. Rate. ate. Eat. Direct. Erect. Lad. Pure. Rise. Rice. Rude. Rid. Ape. Apple. Ride. Rode. Erode. Rod. Diet. Four. For. Poll. Oil. Pill. Pole. Ore. Garlic. Prefect. Perfect.

Stool. Stole. Stale. Steel. Toll. Tell. Told. Tale. Ale. Lust. Dust. Dip. Sip. Rip. Tip. Fit. Pit. Deal. Late. Later. Date. Fur. Part. Art. Aid. Aids. Said. Fuss. Door. Pig. Rat.
Pet. Poor. Rule. Act. Lie. Lies. Slit.

Tar. Fill. Fool.

Foster. Soft. Set. Pest. Pastor. Past. Ass. Fag.

Doctor. Cot. Cop. Cope. Drug. Drugs. Dug. Dig. Guess. Guest. Guard. Guards. Guests. Lard. Great. Deep. Purse. Price. Radical. Religious. Gate.

Acid. Rest. Dice. Gust. Disguise. Disgust. Suspect. Police. Polite. Toil. Fig. carrot. Got. Get. Create.

Free. Foil. Foiled. Pace.

Six. Cart.

Fox. Fix. Ice. Suffice. Deul. Due. Dupe. Soup. Rope. Pope. Dope. Tape. Gap. Pag. Tool. Cruel. Sir.

Cool.

Drift.

Raft.

I Got Soul, but I’m Not a Soldier

I WANNA STAND UP, I WANNA LET GO
Youknowyouknow noyoudon'tyoudon't

I'll sing it out this time, yes? Lug it about, almost like the heart I wear on my sleeve..?

 ...and my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no
Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner

I'll sing it. Out LOUD ^_^

I would laugh, because one could pass it off as irony, but you're blind. You wouldn't get it. Don't list them then; it makes your argument quite tedious. It gets weaker, and you wouldn't hold mine anymore. Which won't really take to your liking.

You're the only one who can, by the way.

..:D the IRONY. It's fucking obtuse, look at it haha

that saccharine staccato serenade won't have me surrender squat.. ^_^

DOES IT OFFEND YOU, YEAH? XD

I broke the seal. Again.XD Twice in a row, and counting

Things, they always are just the same. I'm done with Math, for one. For good, I believe. Nope, not too joyous. The O's they're goingon-goingwrong-goingby time allocation, not my fine spot.

Must think only of the Clash now.

…like the notes reverberating off my eardrums, the cacophony filling my head, holding-on, not-letting-go, snatching-away while it's all just insomnia, it's all just fine, all just a haze of a few hours, just like them chords pieced together so tediously, tantalising lullabies, wait they'll transform, teasing you into the arms of slumber

And you're up, look what you've done.

But it’s NEVER blue

You can choose ANYTHING -

You choose to lose again and again

Them words won’t mean anything in the face of a few white lies.

And when you come, and you will, it'll just be with the impassiveness of a stranger.

 

Yeah, you're (no) different.

C'est La Vie

Slit in and out...

Out a pub.

There were words, yes there was feeling, a touch, an understanding, an unvoiced pact.

you're never going to see me again

There was a smile playing across her lips, yes then there was laughter.

--
you can't take this from me

You can't blame me, you won't see me.

Then there was fear, oh the underlying fear, lurking around.

She can't face it.